Happy (almost) Tax Day! Your taxes are due April 15, but we hope that most of you didn't slack off and have already turned in all your stuff. Procrastinating is fun, but not as fun when dealing with the IRS.
Anyway, we do have some extremely important news about what's going down on Wednesday.
In a word: free stuff!
Companies all across the country are running all kinds of cool Tax Day promotions to give Americans a break and to celebrate the official end of tax season. Which ones are worth your time? We've got a list of our 12 favorite freebies:
1. Pizza Hut: Guys, free pizza! This is what life is really about. Just go to PizzaReturn.com and download the "P-2" form (get it?). You can send in your P-2 to enter for a chance to win Pizza Hut gift cards in the amount of their "net pizza return." Hey, if you don't win any free pizza, at least you get to experience all these amazing pizza tax puns, right?
2. McDonald's: Hit up your local McDonald's and buy a Big Mac or Quarter Pounder and you'll get another for only a penny. Fun fact: free food always tastes better than food you paid for.
3. Boston Market: On Tax Day, buy one individual meal at Boston Market and the second one is free. Two for the price of one! That's the best kind of math. The worst? Algebra, probs.
4. Staples: Got a bunch of paper to shred after doing your taxes? Or maybe you've finally given up on selling that screenplay about zombie football players who fight crime in the nude. Whatever it may be, Staples will shred up to five pounds of your documents for free on April 15.
5. Burger King: The BK Lounge (damn you, Dane Cook) has multiple coupons that are valid through April 19, so we're going to count them as Tax Day deals.
6. Great American Cookie: Kick down the door of this cookie joint and demand your free sugar cookie on April 15. They'll give it to you! Also, don't kick down the door. That's rude.
7. HydroMassage: You know those weird water massage kiosks at your local mall? Swing by one of those by April 18 and you'll get a free massage! But they suggest calling ahead or making an appointment.
8. California Tortilla: On Tax Day, buy anything at California Tortilla and say "taxes, shmaxes" to get a free order of chips and salsa. You also get a free soda if you rap a song about taxes. (That last part isn't true but tell your friends that and see if they do it).
9. Kona Ice: If you're the type to wait until April 15 to mail in your taxes (get your life together, dude), you might find a Kona Ice truck parked outside your post office (or other businesses) handing out shaved ice and leis.
10. Sonic: Drive on in and get your fill of half price cheeseburgers all day on April 15.
11. Hard Rock Cafe: Once again, Hard Rock is doing the "Sing for Your Supper" promotion, because public humiliation is a gas. If you sing a song in front of everyone in the restaurant on April 15, you get a free burger.
12. Olive Garden: Looking to really splurge after getting your tax return? Nothing says splurge like unlimited breadsticks, and through April 19 you can get a discount on dinner for two.
Thanks for the memories, tax season 2015. Now give us our free pizza and burgers and leave us alone for another year.