Getty ImagesR.I.P, a/s/l.
Gone are the simple days of asking someone for their age, sex and location over AIM or ICQ. These days, kids are apparently asking for nude photos and sexting about Justin Bieber and now we might as well be shaking our canes at the computer and yelling at riff-raff to get off our lawn. That's how out of touch we felt after reading this CNN article about acronyms that teens supposedly use to keep their parents in the dark about their naughty phone habits.
CNN has a list of 28 codes that teenagers text to each other to talk about sex, drugs and parties without their parents knowing. All we really know besides "a/s/l" is "lol." But kids don't really laugh out loud while sexting, do they? Whatever, these are borderline impossible to decipher, but some E! Online employees gave it a shot with just six of them. Some were figured out, while the rest were met with laughably off base and mediocre results:
IWSN
"I wanna see nipple"
"I want sex now"
"I'll wear spandex next"
"I will send nudes"
"I want some nudes"
"I will sext you now"
NIFOC
"Not in front of children/church/Christ, from the respectful sexting teenager"
"Next I forgot our cat (part of a long story about a road trip gone awry)"
"No, I found our condoms"
"Never insist f--king on cliffs"
"Not in front of…? Children? Covers? Cats?"
"Now I feel over confident"
"Not in front of car"
"Now I feel officially cute"
CU46
"Call you for sex"
"See you for sex or See, you're 46 (which is a major putdown for teens)"
"See you soon"
"Cleopatra's underwear 4 sexytime"
KOTL
"Kardashians on the loose"
"Keep on the love"
"Keep on the left (which is what teens in the UK say to remind other teens to driver properly)"
"Kick off those lederhosen = get nekkid"
"Keep on the lights"
"Keep off the lights"
"Kool–Aid on the lips"
"Keep on the lingerie"
"Kinky on the line"
"Keep one t-t loose"
LH6
"Let's have sex or love habaneros seis (please add six chili peppers to my order, please)"
"Lauryn Hill's 6th studio album"
"This is just a chem symbol"
"Let's have sex? (Six and sex, not the same thing, YOUTHS)"
"Let's hang out"
"Late sex"
"Kids are dumb"
KPC
"Kickin' parents' concerns (I'm so old)"
"Keep prophylactics close"
"Kentucky poultry conduct (a fowl way to describe something beautiful) or Pasadena's sexy NPR station, for short"
"Kim's Paper cover"
"Kentucky plow chicken"
"Keep pics coming"
"Just makes me want KFC"
"Keep p---y clean? Kentucky Plucked Chicken?"
"Kool penis, Charlie"
The fact that more than one person thinks teens should be texting about KFC should tell you everything you need to know about the E! Online staff. Seriously, kids, you should be texting about chicken more.
Your turn! Here is the complete list of acronyms that CNN insists teenagers are using to send sexy text messages to other teenagers. See if you can decipher any of them or at least see if you can decipher them better than we did. But that won't be a hard feat to accomplish:
1. IWSN
2. GNOC
3. NIFOC
4. PIR
5 CU46
6. 53X
7. 9
8. 99
9. 1174'
10. THOT
11. CID
12. Broken
13. 420
14. POS
15. SUGARPIC
16. KOTL
17. (L)MIRL
18. PRON
19. TDTM
20. 8
21. CD9
22. IPN
23. LH6
24. WTTP
25. DOC
26. TWD
27. GYPO
28. KPC
Scroll on past these random GIFs to get the answer key:
1. IWSN: I want sex now
2. GNOC: Get naked on camera
3. NIFOC: Naked in front of computer
4. PIR: Parent in room
5 CU46: See you for sex
6. 53X: Sex
7. 9: Parent watching
8. 99: Parent gone
9. 1174': Party meeting place
10. THOT: That hoe over there
11. CID: Acid (the drug)
12. Broken: Hungover from alcohol
13. 420: Marijuana
14. POS: Parent over shoulder
15. SUGARPIC: Suggestive or erotic photo
16. KOTL: Kiss on the lips
17. (L)MIRL: Let's meet in real life
18. PRON: Porn
19. TDTM: Talk dirty to me
20. 8: Oral sex
21. CD9: Parents around/Code 9
22. IPN: I'm posting naked
23. LH6: Let's have sex
24. WTTP: Want to trade pictures?
25. DOC: Drug of choice
26. TWD: Texting while driving
27. GYPO: Get your pants off
28. KPC: Keeping parents clueless
How did you do? If you got less than three right, you are definitely not alone. Because most of these make no sense. Kids today, right?
Well, at least if we look at a teenager's phone, we'll be able to tell if someone is requesting that they get their pants off before they go to the party meeting place. That's something to be proud of.